Full Theme Song Lyrics
[Lois]
It seems today
That all you see
Is violence and movies
And sex on TV
[Peter]
But where are those good old fashioned values?
On which we used to rely?
[Brian]
It used to be
A big time star
Was Elegant as Garbo
Or Hedy Lamarr
[Stewie]
But now we got whores like Jenny Lopez
You want to curl up and die
[Chorus]
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
[Stewie]
Laugh and cry
[Chorus]
He's a family guy
[Lois]
When I was young
The songs were fair
With Mister Johnny Mathis
And Sonny and Cher
[Peter]
But now we got Justin Timber-homo
[Lois]
A heartache all gone awry
[Brian]
The classic films
Were works of arts
The images were graceful
The stories were smart
[Stewie]
But now we get Matrix Revolution
I'm sorry I know this doesn't rhyme
But what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?!
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[Chorus]
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a fella
Sweeter than vanilla
Wholesome as a piece of
[Stewie]
Apple pie
[Chorus]
He's a family guy!
[Lois]
His smiles a simple delight
[Chris]
He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites
[Lois]
Peter!
[Meg]
He bought my cute little hat
[Brian]
Yeah we should talk about that (About that! And his hat!)
He mastered the comedy arts
[Stewie]
He says, "Look out Hiroshima!" then casually farts
[Lois]
He's loaded with sexy appeal
[Peter]
And best of all my titties are real. Have a feel
[Brian]
No thank you
[Stewie]
I gave it the office
[Lois]
The Brady Bunch
Has got their Mike
And pretty Laura Petrie
Has Dicky Van Dyke
[Peter]
But who around here could fill these loafers?
But here's a happy reply
[Chorus]
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
[Stewie]
Laugh and cry
[Chorus]
He's...a...fam...ily...guy!
