The Electric Fan Lyrics
Bert (writing a letter with a pencil):
"Dear Mister Rogers, I wish you would send me ..."
Ernie (entering): Oh, Bert! Oh boy, it`s warm outside today, Bert!(Bert doesn`t answer) You`ve been outside today Bert,
It`s the warmest days we`ve had I think. Oh, Bert. Hey, Bert.
If you don`t mind if I turn on my
electric fan to cool off, Do you? Bert?
Bert: Uh, Ernie. I`m busy here.
Ernie: Oh Bert`s busy. He`s writing a letter, I won`t bother Bert.
(Louder) I won`t bother you, Bert! It`s okay! (Bert looks up, sighs,
and continues writing) I`ll just get the electric fan and turn on
some cool air. (Gets the fan and turns it on) Oh, there,
that`s better. (Pause) If some cool air feels good,
If I turn on the fan more, it would feel cooler I bet.
(Turns it on higher;
it`s starting to get really breezy now!) Oh,
the more air this fan blows, the cooler I feel.
Bert: Hey, Ernie. I`m trying to write some letters. Huh?
Ernie: I think if I turned this fan on all the way,
it`ll get really cool! (Does so,
and papers start blowing around everywhere.) Oh, wow!
That`s some best cool air I`ve ever
felt! Woah! Dosen`t that feel good!
Bert: Ernie! The fan! Turn it off!
Ernie: What, Bert?
Bert: Turn the fan off!
Ernie: I can`t hear you, Bert!
Bert: I said, TURN THE FAN OFF!
Ernie: TURN THE FAN OFF?
Bert: TURN THE FAN OFF!
Ernie: Oh, okay. (Turns it off) There we go. Woah!
Didn`t that feel good, Bert! Huh? What`s the matter, Bert?
Bert: Ernie...
Ernie: Yes, Bert?
Bert: Right here...
Ernie: Yes, Bert?
Bert: Ernie...
Ernie: Mmm hmm?
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Bert: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I AM SITTING HERE QUIETLY,
TRYING TO WRITE A LETTER,
AND ALL YOU DO IS BOTHER ME WITH THAT
FAN! I AM SO HOT AND BOTHERED RIGHT NOW!
Ernie: What? Bert? Wait, wait wait!
Wait, Bert! You`re hot and bothered?
Bert: YES, I`M HOT AND BOTHERED!
Ernie: Oh, I have just what you need
for someone who`s hot and bothered, Bert.
Bert: Oh, what?
Ernie: Cool air, Bert! There we go, Bert! There!
Didn`t that feel better, Bert! Oh wow!
(Turns the fan on all the way.
Papers blow around, and Bert starts yelling.)
(Fade out)
