TP Factory Tour Lyrics
Let’s take a tour of the factory
Find out what this pulp is about to be
In a big machine, up the belt: goodbye!
Got to get it very wet because it’s very dry
Got to mush it, mash it, make it into slurry
Hurry! Can’t rest when a mess is occurring!
Tidy it up, wring it out, press it flat
Wind it up like that
Into the thing called the master roll
And that’s what we take home, right? No!
That one’s way too big for us
As if going to the bathroom wasn’t quite complicated enough
Don’t want to add to that
A toilet roll bigger than a Cadillac
That’d be sad. We couldn’t lift it up!
If the roll ran out, would we hire a truck?
A one-prong forklift, just the thing
Back it up, now bring. Get it into the swing
Of the mechanism. Yeah, it’s rolling now
Like generously doling out
Yard after yard of the bath tissue
To the benefit of skinny little cardboard tubes
Uh oh! They’re naked! Better get them dressed
Where do you expect they’ll roll to next?
Are they headed directly to the grocery store?
What are they still in the factory for?
Not too heavy any more, that’s true
But still too long to fit in the bathroom
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So we measure them out and we cut them to size
Till they look like the rolls that we recognize
See how they ride down the line with ease
It’s hard to believe that they used to be trees
So please just use the amount you need
Till we take another trip to the factory!
Okay, bye bye TP, bye bye!
