The Inquisition Lyrics
(Torquemada Slides down to the monks)
[Verse 1]
The Inquistion, let's begin
The Inquistion, look out sin
We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew ja Jew ja Jew ja Jews)
We're gonna teach them wrong from right
We're gonna help them see the light
And make an offer that they can't refuse (that the Jews just can't refuse)
[Refrain]
Confess (confess, confess)
Don't be boring
Say yes (say yes, say yes)
Don't be dull
A fact you're ignoring
It's better to lose your skullcap than your skull
Oy oy gevalt
[Hook]
The Inquistion, what a show
The Inquistion, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
But the Inquistion's here and it's here to stay
The Inquistion, oh boy
The Inquistion, what a joy
The Inquistion, oy oy
[Interlude Part 1: First Jewish Man]
I was sitting in a temple
I was minding my own business
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass
Then these papus persons plunge in, and they throw me in a
Dungeon, and they shove a red hot poker up my ass
Is that considerate?
Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight
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[Interlude Part 2: Second Jewish Man]
I'm sitting, plicking chickens and I'm looking through the pickings and suddenly these guys bring down my balls
I didn't even know them and they grabbed me by the scrotum and they started playing ping pong with my balls
Oy, the agony
Ooh, the shame
To make my privates public for a game
[Hook]
The Inquistion, what a show
The Inquistion, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
But the Inquistion's here and it's here to -
[Verse 2]
- Hey, Torquemada, whaddaya say?
I just got back from the auto-da-fé
Auto-da-fé, what's an auto-da-fé?
It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway
[Interlude 2]
Skit skat voodely vat tootin de day
Will you convert?
No, no, no, no
Will you confess?
No, no, no, no
Will you revert?
No, no, no, no
Will you say yes?
No, no, no, no
Now I ask in a nice way, I said pretty please, I bent their ears
Now I'll work on their knees! (Whacks their knees with two mallets)
[Verse 3]
Hey, Torquemada, walk this way
We got a little game that you might wanna play
So pull that handle, try your luck
Who knows, Torq, you might win a buck!
Alright!
(Spins the wheel, get's three jews in a row like a slot machine)
[Interlude 3]
Put it in the car (Whispered to another, who whispers it to another, that man to another, etc.)
How we doing? Any converts today?
Not a one, nay, nay, nay
We've flattened their fingers
We branded their buns
Nothing is working
Send in the nuns!
(The nuns walk in, a giant block rises and the nuns partake in a swimming show, the jewish men go down a slide and are promptly drowned. It ends with the nuns coming back up with lights on their head and it turns out to take the shape of a menorah)
[Hook]
The Inquistion, what a show
The Inquistion, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
So, c'mon you Moslems and you Jews
We got big news for all of yous
You better change your point of views today
Cause the Inquistion's here and it's here to stay
