Miss America Lyrics
Tommy stutters comically
When he says a lot of things,
Mommy does the shopping,
Daddy's digging through the laundry bins,
He likes to try on mommy's things
With his hair up in her bobby pins
The neighbors very neighborly
Occasionally taking peeks at his neice while she takes a pee
I heard the plumbers found a finger when they fixed the basement leak
So pick up the phone
Fix up your lawn
Turn the TV on
There's nothing wrong
Middle America, I love you
Old Mister Wilkenson killed a man
Drunk from the bar
Hit him with the front of his car
Drug him so far,
There was nothing but parts,
For hundreds of yards
Those thick damn power lines,
Will drive you out your mind
Edna sits in the shower sometimes,
For hours and cries,
Whenever she forgets to tell Howard goodbye
So pick up the phone
Fix up your lawn
Turn the TV on
There's nothing wrong
Middle America, I love you
Smoking softly but,
Mommys body shook
Droped the coffee cup
I guess the coffee wasn't strong enough
Becca was a quiet girl
Behind the wheel
With a mouth full of diet pills
A couple beers
And some stuff for your sinuses
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Dancing in the fire
Smashing all of the appliances
The psychiatrist said, the zoloft had some side effects.
So pick up the phone
Fix up your lawn
Turn the TV on
There's nothing wrong
Middle America, We love you
Pick up your phone
Fix up your lawn
Turn the TV on
There's nothing wrong
Miss America, We love you
