Chinese Restaurant Skit Lyrics
Customer: Yo, let's go to this next Chinese-Muslim joint. We could get some shrimp fried rice and [make Salah] at the same time
Customer: Aight, cool
Restaurant Guy: (Humming) (Sings) You are not alone ...
Customer: Ey yo, Ey yo Chang Wang, what's up
Restaurant Guy: I'll be right out. Right. Wait. One second. Okay, then. Fine. Your order
Customer: Lemme get, um, lemme get two of them beef fried rices over there. Lemme get a half a chicken wing. Don't put that little retarded leg in it --
Restaurant Guy: -- Right --
Customer: -- just cut that off. Don't put no onion in my white rice
Customer: Yo yo yo. I need four chicken wings fried hard
Restaurant Guy: What's this? Hold on? What's this? The two of you? At once? Okay, then. You want beef
Customer: No no no, we want beef to eat. We got no beef
Customer: I want four chicken wings fried hard, nigga, what the fuck is you talking 'bout
Restaurant Guy: All right. I'll kick your monkey asses my fucking self
Customer: Whoa whoa, what are you coming over the counter for?
Restaurant Guy: You think I open a restaurant in the middle of the hood and don't know what's going on? I fucking represent
Customer: I'll fuck you the fuck up
Restaurant Guy: I will avenge my brothers by representing and whooping your asses, word is bond
Customer: This ain't Channel 5, nigga, somebody gonna die
Restaurant Guy: Okay, then. I will show you Flying Fist of Judah.
Customer: You ain't gonna show me shit
Restaurant Guy: That's right
Customer: I'll show you these nuts
https://www.elyricsworld.com/chinese_restaurant_skit_lyrics_fugees.html
Restaurant Guy: You and you
Customer: Straight from Mortal Kombat
Restaurant Guy: You're just talking. Obviously the two of you are just bitch-ass niggers
Customer: Nigga, well then do something, you talking all your bullshit
Customer: So what's up, so what's up?
Restaurant Guy: All right. This is a Chinese restaurant, but like Burger King, have it your way.
(Punching noises)
Customer: Ah! This nigga here ...
