Left Brain Right Brain - what. (live) Lyrics
Machine: Hello, patient 24602.
Bo: Hi, I'm sorry.
Machine: How are you feeling?
Bo: Not great.
Machine: Has the treatment been working?
Bo: No, it hasn't been.
Machine: What are your remaining symptoms?
Bo: I just- I- I internalize my feelings I just- I- I have trouble artic- like other people and relating to them is just hard-
Machine: So basically you're still a little bitch.
Bo: Ah, real mature of you, disembodied voice- up there.
Machine: I was just joking, nigga.
Bo: We are right by Oaklyn, careful with that shit.
Machine: I'm not human, I can say whatever I want.
Bo: Alright, just get to the- what- what's wrong with me? What is wrong with me? Please..
Machine: Your emotions and your logic are at war.
Bo: Okay
Machine: Your creativity and your analysis are at war. And most simply, your left and right brain are at war.
Bo: My left and my right-
Machine: To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other.
Bo: Separa-
Machine: Splitting your neurological functions in 5... 4...
Bo: Just- we book an appointment, we don't just start counting down.
Machine: 3... 2... 1... This may hurt a bit.
Bo: I don't even know what "it" is- just-
Machine: 0.
-Isolation complete.
This is Bo's left brain: Objective, logical, cold, analytical, aware of patterns, aware of trends, he's efficient, and a prick.
This is Bo's right brain: Subjective, creative, sensory, aware of feelings, aware of people, he's emotional, and an idiot.
Right: That's your opinion. Just- careful with opinions.
Machine: Okay, boys, play nice.
Left: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. I work really hard 'til my inevitable death brain. You got a job to do, you better do it right, and the right was is with the left brain's might.
Right: I like oreos and pussy, yeah! Ok, and I cried for at least an hour after watching toy story 3. I am the right brain, I have feelings, I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful, trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love... or put my penis in.
Left: Here comes a female, here comes a female. Putt your chest out, take your phone and check your e-mail. Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate. So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate.
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Right: Holy fuck! I think she might be the one! There's something about her, I just can't describe it.
Left: Tits.
Right: I am the earth, she's the gorious sun. I want her to trust me, and I just want her to sit on my face- sit!
Left: Alright now, right brain, you're being insane.
Right: No, left brain, I'm just being alive. You should try it, you might like it.
Left: I worked hard to give him everything he cared about. You were worried about the things that he was scared about. I'm calm and collected when you act wild. I am the adult, you are the child.
Right: You think you're the right one every time. You think you know everything, you don't know anything at all. Half of his problems were supposed to be mine. But you wanted everything. I hope that you're happy, 'cause he's sure not.
Left: Well, according to my calculations, you're a pussy.
Right: Name calling? Really? We're gonna go name calling?
Left: We're not calling names, alright. I'm just stating facts and the fact is you're a quivering pussy.
Right: I'm the pussy? Well at least I don't play with toys still.
Left: Okay, Rubik's Cubes are not toys. They keep my spacial reasoning skills sharp.
Right: Left brain plays with toys! Look at you, Jonny- fucking- toy player.
Left: Well, at least I did my fucking job! I kept him working, I kept him productive. You were supposed to look after him! You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable through all this, and now you're blaming me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling. If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed him. You did this to him, he hates you, I know he does, HE FUCKING HATES YOU!
Right: *Cries*
Left: Right brain, look, I'm sorry.
Right: No you're not...
Left: Look, maybe there's something that we could to together.
Right: Together?
Left: Take the best parts of both of us, put them together.
Right: I'm listening.
Left: It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze. So you could man the themes; I'll man the form. It's something that George Carlin did, It's something that Steve Martin did. It's something special that we could both perform. Do you know what it is?
Right: Juggling, we could juggle, and juggle our cares away!
Left: *facepalm* It was comedy, we could do comedy together.
Machine: Initiate reassembly.
Left: Alright, alright, right brain, we're gonna do comedy together, alright?
Right: Alright, left brain, I'll do comedy with you.
Left: Look, we can fix him like this. We can make him happy again, I promise.
Right: Left brain, left brain I love you.
Machine: *counting down* 3... 2...
Left: I know.
Machine: 1... experimentation complete.
