MY DARLINGS DOWNSIZED Lyrics
From Monday to Wednesday it’s business as usual
So what’s so unusual about my sweet dear
She’s altered she’s different she’s just so spectacular
She’s what we got wed for she’s keen and she’s clear
Because Henrietta has just had the good sense
And she’s wrote them a letter in which they’re advised
That Henrietta has made a decision and from this day forward
My darling’s downsized
Just last Wednesday evening she kicks off her work shoes
I pour her a large one and I tell you no lies
She swigs and she shimmies and looks to the bedroom
Then she looks at me with those great big blue beautiful downsize eyes
Now the sun in the morning somehow seems brighter
And everything’s righter than it was before
The coffee is richer the eggs over easier the breeze is just breezier
And the there’s cuddles galore
She bakes some rock cakes I lay a fire
I light the touch paper but I don’t retire
Because my love for her cannot be overstated
It’s deep and it’s not final salary related
Because Henrietta has just had the good sense
And she’s wrote them a letter in which they are advised
That Henrietta has made a decision and from this day forward
My darling’s downsized
The allotment society application she’s made
She’s put our names forward and she’s bought me a spade
And when old father summer time raises his head
We’ll be up there to prepare our celeriac bed
I’ll dig us a trench then I’ll join her in sitting
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Up close on the bench and we’ll watch the spuds chitting
Then I’ll pinch out some carrots she’ll squish some black flies
Then she’ll look at me with those great big blue beautiful downsize eyes
Because Henrietta has just had the good sense
And she’s wrote them a letter in which they all are advised
That Henrietta has made a decision and from this day forward
The love of my life my best friend and my companion my darling’s downsized
