No To Washboard Women Lyrics

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Down in Lawrence town by the river Kaw

Is the rockin'-est band you ever heard or saw

You won't need earplugs

'Cuz it's just five mugs

Makin' jug band jazz without any jugs

They've got songs a-plenty

Clean and dirty

Blue and sporty

From maybe circa

Nineteen-twenty

Or thirty

Or forty

Oh, Lordy!

It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band

And you can hear the leader daily

Playin' on his ukulele

He leads them through the streets to sing

And do that string band thing

They've got a stand-up bass

That'll rock the place

'Cuz it's in yo' face

(bunga bunga bunga bunga)

The guitar's Hawaiian

When it starts cryin'

You'll lose your mind in the pale moonshine

Sister Rebekah

She's a washboard wrecker

With a nimble thimbled hand

They've only got one fiddle

'Cuz it ain't Nelson Riddle

It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band!

Oh, look out!

[instrumental chorus]

They'll kick yo' ass

'Cuz it ain't bluegrass

It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band

It's fat and naughty

But it ain't Pavarotti

It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band

They've all got white flesh

But it ain't John Tesh

It's Al Trout's Hokum Washboard Band

Al Trout's Hokum (scratch, scratch) Band!

Thank you, thank you very much