King Missile Lyrics

  Send "Detachable Penis" Ringtone to your Cell  

Transcribed by: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)

Subject: Detachable Penis

Date: 15 Dec 92 07:26:20 GMT

Detatchable Penis, by King Missile

    I woke up this morning with a bad hangover

    And my penis was missing again.

    This happens all the time.

    It's detachable.



    [background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]



    This comes in handy a lot of the time.

    I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,

    or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.

    But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,

    and the next morning I can't for the life of me

    remember what I did with it.

    First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.

    So I called up the place where the party was,

    they hadn't seen it either.

    I asked them to check the medicine cabinet

    'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes

    But not this time.

    So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

    I called a few people who were at the party,

    but they were no help either.

    I was starting to get desperate.

    I really don't like being without my penis for too long.

    It makes me feel like less of a man,

    and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

    After a few hours of searching the house,

    and calling everyone I could think of,

    I was starting to get very depressed,

    so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

    Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,

    where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,

    I saw my penis lying on a blanket

    next to a broken toaster oven.

    Some guy was selling it.

    I had to buy it off him.

    He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.

    I took it home, washed it off,

    and put it back on.  I was happy again.  Complete.

    People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,

    but I don't know.

    Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,

    I like having a detachable penis.



    [background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for

     a while, then out]